5 Ways For Guys To Deal With PMS

I made a pact with The Boss, that I would post in BUGS thrice a week from now on. Let’s see how it goes. Boss, do I get a pay raise then? Hehe, just kidding…

Anyway, I came up with something that I hope would be of use, especially to guys.

5 Ways For Guys To Deal With PMS

1. Learn how to predict when it would occur. Take note of the day your female companion starts to get cranky, snaps at everything, gets cravings and binges on food. Normally, another 28 days after that happens, the whole thing will start over again. That’s PMS. However, in some cases, it could take from as little as 25 days to as long as 40 days or more for the craziness to kick in again. If possible, take note of the dates so that you will be able to take the following precautionary measures.

2. Get ready all sorts of sweet or savoury junk food. Learn what your female companion normally craves for, whether it be crisps, doughnuts, ice-cream, chocolate, french fries or the like. The last thing you want happening is to be caught in the situation where she is craving ice-cream till she gets psychotic and it’s past midnite, the chances of you sleeping well that night would be pretty slim. However, do not buy in bulk, or let her have to much of it. Less she goes over the limit, suddenly realises that she ate a whole family-sized bar of Cadbury and pops the most dreaded question of “Do you think I look fat?”. Sorry, can’t help you then, you’re on your own.

3. Exercise is supposedly helps alleviate PMS symptoms like mood swings, crankyness and depression. Something to do with endorphins perhaps, makes people happy? Make exercise fun! And I don’t mean that sort of exercise arh, you people. Tsk tsk. Perhaps a romantic walk on the beach, walking your pet pooches, ice-skating hand in hand? Try around to see what works.

4. Do not ever say anything like “You having your period hia?” or “Women, always blaming hormones for everything”, that would be equivalent to digging your own grave.

5. Don’t think you can squirm your way out of it by so coincidentally scheduling you business trip when she has PMS or trying to avoid her by being busy at work/studies. Totally ignoring or neglecting her at this time of the month may have severely undesirable results. Handle with care.

Note: This post is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt. The blogger will not be liable for any harm caused by following said suggestions.

Cult of Mac

During the last UGS gathering Tay was making a lot of noise about whether to buy a laptop or an iBook. It was perhaps ironic that he used Kenny's laptop, of all things a machine running Windows, to browse about Apple's store, admiring the curves and the pale pastels that make up the hot plastic body of his beloved.

Now why does that sound so wrong?

The love of all things Apple may seem to some as arcane as the love of Badminton, Judo or Korean Dramas. Let me attempt to explain it to you.

Top 10 reasons geeks guys love anything remotely Apple.

1. Apple makes sexy in computers possible. They are flat where we want them to be flat, and curved where we want them to be curved. Our iPods use hard disk drives because they are hard ... and they vibrate when you scroll for a song. Ever so gently, gently, gently ....
   
2. Apple products can do no wrong. You are absolutely stupid if you think Apple earbuds are lousier than, say, Griffin. Our earbuds are glisteningly white, and sharing earwax with your girlfriend over a song is a lot cooler than squeezing a DRM encoded 3 plays only tune over Zune's fupped wireless connection (wat a mouthful).
   
3. Apple has the iPhone. It does EVERYTHING.
   
4. The Apple logo is beautifully minimalist. Microsoft's logo is microsoft (boh-ring). Linux's Penguins are fat.
   
5. Steve Jobs is so influential fans cried and worried when he was found to have cancer in his nether regions. (okay, it was the pancreas, but whatever).
   
6. Their computers are packaged in orgami boxes. Microsoft's products, on the other hand, come in such a wide range of varieties users are prompted to come up with this:
   
   
7. Apple produces such wow inducing products, bringing users to places we never expect to go - first the iPod, then the iPod Mini, the iPod shuffle, the Apple TV, the iPhone, then we'll probably get the iBicycle, the iMicrowave Oven/iHDTV and the iHousecleaning iRobot (complete with real skin).
   
8. C'mon - almost all (hip) advertisements, professional web designers, authors, actors, hip movies, fashion designers, cartoon characters, world leaders, my dog, Osama Bin Laden, George Bush ... sport an Apple product. Microsoft even features a Mac in one of its advertisements (logo airbrushed, of course).
9. There are no viruses for Mac, since the limited number of Mac users make it entirely useless for crackers to look for security holes. If you wish, you can always say the Adam and Eve virus took a bite out of your Apple computer.
   
10. Microsoft is the borg. The copycat of all copycats. You know Microsoft has won when you see a cute multicoloured worm sticking out of your minimalist Apple logo.
    

Wait - part of my dare with Sam was to include one last photo, but since it's running late (and i can't get Windows Live Writer to sync with Blogger - see! Another Microsoft fault!) i'll just put up a picture of two NSers in a tangle. Here's Danny, who doesn't care what computer he uses, and Tay, who lusts loves needs wants to get a Mac.



Do you feel the love yet?

Learning Antonyms in B.M

If you know B.M then read this and laugh.

If you don't know B.M, read this and laugh anyway.

If you don't understand B.M OR English...How did you find out about the internet?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murid : Selamat pagi, cikgu.

Cikgu : (Menengking) Mengapa selamat pagi sahaja?
Petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat?

Murid : Selamat pagi, petang dan malam cikgu!

Cikgu : Panjang sangat! Tak pernah dibuat oleh orang! Kata selamat sejahtera! Senang dan penuh bermakna.Lagipun ucapan ini meliputi semua masa dan keadaan.

Murid : Selamat sejahtera cikgu!

Cikgu : Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar sini baik-baik.
Hari ini cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang perkataan
berlawan. Bila cikgu sebutkan perkataannya,
kamu semua mesti menjawab dengan cepat, lawan bagi
perkataan-perkataan itu, faham?

Murid : Faham, cikgu!

Cikgu : Saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan.

Murid : (senyap)

Cikgu : Pandai!

Murid : Bodoh!

Cikgu : Tinggi!

Murid : Rendah!

Cikgu : Jauh!

Murid : Dekat!

Cikgu : Keadilan!

Murid : UMNO!

Cikgu : Salah!

Murid : Betul!

Cikgu : Bodoh!

Murid : Pandai!

Cikgu : Bukan!

Murid : Ya!

Cikgu : Oh Tuhan!

Murid : Oh Hamba!

Cikgu : Dengar ini!

Murid : Dengar itu!

Cikgu : Diam!

Murid : Bising!

Cikgu : Itu bukan pertanyaan, bodoh!

Murid : Ini ialah jawapan, pandai!

Cikgu : Mati aku!

Murid : Hidup kami!

Cikgu : Rotan baru tau!

Murid : Akar lama tak tau!

Cikgu : Malas aku ajar kamu!

Murid : Rajin kami belajar cikgu!

Cikgu : Kamu gila!

Murid : Kami siuman!

Cikgu : Cukup! Cukup!

Murid : Kurang! Kurang!

Cikgu : Sudah! Sudah!

Murid : Belum! Belum!

Cikgu : Mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat?

Murid : Sebab saya seorang pandai!

Cikgu : Oh! Melawan!

Murid : Oh! Mengalah!

Cikgu : Kurang ajar!

Murid : Cukup ajar!

Cikgu : Habis aku!

Murid : Kekal kami!

Cikgu : O.K. Pelajaran sudah habis!

Murid : K.O. Pelajaran belum bermula!

Cikgu : Sudah, bodoh!

Murid : Belum, pandai!

Cikgu : Berdiri!

Murid : Duduk!

Cikgu : Saya kata UMNO salah!

Murid : Kami dengar KeADILan betul!

Cikgu : Bangang kamu ni!

Murid : Cerdik kami tu!

Cikgu : Rosak!

Murid : Baik!

Cikgu : Kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini!

Murid : Dilepaskan tengah malam itu!

Cikgu : (Senyap dan mengambil buku-bukunya keluar.)

=)

Blogging Semi-Offline

I'm testing Word 2007's compatibility with Blogger. It doesn't work so well for Blogger compared to Wordpress. I had difficulties retrieving existing posts, as well as automating the image upload process.

P/S: I still couldn't get Word to edit existing posts, so I'm doing the editing from within Blogger. Uploading pictures is a bit more troublesome than it should be, and I can't add labels from within Word. I'd say Word 2007 works very seamlessly with Wordpress, but not so with Blogger.

Size Does Matter - A Collection of Statistics

I'm sorry for all the time i wasted not posting in BUGS, but here's a little something to make up for the non-activity. I've got quite a few things i'd like to share, not the least being lesbian koalas in Australia, but first thing first: a thought provoking video from youtube spewing out facts that make you think twice. Some excerpts:

China will soon become the number 1 English speaking country in the world

The 25% of the population in China with the highest IQs is greater than the total population of North America.

Enjoy.