The Brands Conspiracy

About two weeks before SPM, there was a little rigmarole in my class on the types of "additional health benefit" supplements we would be taking on the exam mornings. The idea was that, we needed stamina and energy to continuously vomit out vast amounts of information in a limited time span- and unless we SPMers suddenly discovered new found powers to break the space-time continuum and bend time to our advantage, stamina was not coming the cheap way.


There were talks of Power Bars, Liquid Carbohydrates, Nutrilite Double X, Ginseng Extract, Birds Nest Soup, my mummy's secret recipe cordycep soup, and even drinking glucose (not advisable). But the most popular of them all, was Brands Chicken Essence.


Yes, you've heard about it. Heck, 99% of you out there have tasted it at least once in your life. However, I was never a stickler for these types of fuss- I never did Brands Chicken Essence for UPSR or PMR. It was eggs in the morning, and period. I imagine I was quite proud for the fact that "I do not need any commercialized antics to keep me awake during exam."


Then, I became a little worried. About everyone in my class had agreed on Brands. Brands suddenly became their number one idol. Hold on, let me rephrase that. It was like a religion and they hailed that tiny bottle of black fluids as the water of life.





I did a little internet research, then, on what exactly Brands was about. Friends kept on commenting about how AWAKE and ALIVE and ENERGETIC they felt after drinking the potion. It wasn't that I did not believe them, I did. But after watching too much of House and his psychological dependence of Vicodin I was, lets say, a bit of a skeptic.

Total number of students sitting for public exam:
SPM: 439,255
PMR: 400,000 (not exact)
UPSR: 400,000 (not exact)

Being generous, I imagine 25% of this number took Brands. So its 309813 students. A case of Brands costs RM30. So Brands makes an estimate of RM9,214,412 (thats nine million) a year, on exam students only. And were not even talking about those who drink it on a regular basis for... health reasons.

Then I combed the internet for health benefits. I got absolutely nothing other that the fact that its made of chicken. So what does chicken have to do with my metabolism and stamina? Maybe Proton should come up with the concept of the Brands Chicken Essence Car. No, now i'm just talking nonsense.


So peer pressure kicked in, even without evidence to support much. I decided to add a little bit to that statistic of students donating to Brands annual profit. But I didn't know how I was going to ask my mum... like I said, I never did potions.


I trotted off to my mum and asked her "Erh.. mum.. for SPM can I drink Brands in the morning or not?"

My mum stared at me, and said "Where are your eyes? I bought two cases three weeks ago already and its been sitting on the dining room table ever since. You think I dont care about you, issit?"

Swt.

So does anyone here take Brands for examinations?

Protons Islamic Car Concept

An interesting bit of news made the middlelines (as opposed to headlines?) in todays The Star.

After embarrassing encounters with Germans Volkswagen recently, and a jaw dropping 30.4% drop in sales from 2006, it seems that Proton has come up with what they call a "solution" to their problems. One would say they have found their golden egg.

Try not laughing.

The Islamic Car
"Malaysia, together with Iran and Turkey, plans to produce this car concept for the global market. It is expected to have features such as a compass Kiblat, and special compartments for keeping the Quran and scarves. Proton might have found a new niche here."

Absolutely ridiculous. Most European automobiles already have GPS that can determine the Kiblat with a press of a finger- and Proton plans to delve back into the middle ages with a compass. Plus, every other car in the *cough* global market *cough* HAS compartments. I wonder how these special compartments are going to be.

How do you solat in a car, anyway?

Who knows. It might just work. A marketing gimmick that might just absolutely work.

"How does having a compass Kiblat reading and compartments for the Quran make the proposed so-called Islamic car fundamentally distinct from all other cars?"

Nothing. They better come up with something better. Innovate, damn it.

Yes. Proton is indeed a Hen that has laid it golden egg.

We call those kinds of hens... chicken.

My Early Muir Owl

My Early Muir Owl is an anagram of Will You Marry Me.

Love At First Sight Does Exist

Not so long ago one dude in New York had a James Blunt moment: he saw the girl of his dreams on a subway train. The funny thing about all of this, is, of course, that most people don't believe in Love At First Sight. I'm wondering if this guy did, because what he did next was surprising.

He created a website. It consisted of a single illustration, and he asked people if they had seen this girl. The website spread through word of mouth.


One day a girl saw his description, matched it with that of her friend, and hooked the two of them up.

I wonder what's become of two of them. Here's to wishing them the best. Because, just sometimes, happy endings do happen.

Maybe Mr T IS Handy With Computers

Review of SPM

As the first batch (ie guinea pig batch) taking Science and Maths in English, I have decided that it is almost obligatory that I write a sort of review on this years Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia. Lets backtrack in time- 2003 was the year where our former Dictatorial Figurehead Prime Minister Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad introduced a new policy whereby English became the mainstream language in science stream studies.

Claps and standing ovations resounded among those who
1. Use English as their medium of speech
2. Think in English
3. Were fairly proficient in the language.

I cant find any statistics for English proficiency in Malaysia, but Id venture a good extimate- less than half are below average. Hard core Chinese population, half the bumis and basically every Malay in Semenanjung. (Anyway, If we could score in Malay back then, I dont see why they cant score in English now)

So, have the standards increased, so that results drop to an all new low and our ever powerful Hishamuddin will have yet another excuse to return the syllabus back to the previous Bahasa Kebangsaan? The language of our country. The language of our heritage.

Or have the standards decreased, in hope for the coming elections hope that results would double up the score ladder.

Standard:Decreased like falling down a 69 storey building

Things were fairly normal for the core subjects: you have the normal not-being-able-to-finish-in-bloody-time for Moral Education, writing-like-the-speed-of-light-t- get-that-4pages-limit Malay Essay, dozing during English Paper, and not even caring for Maths.

Its the Science subjects that were incredibly stupid.

Objective papers were incredible no brainers. Half the class was dozing by the 10th minute, the other half checking through again. For my biology paper I went through the darn thing five or six times.

For Chemistry, Biology, Physics... there are actually questions where you UNDERLINE the correct answer. IN SUBJECTIVE!

NaOH / KCL + HCL - NaCL + H2O

A leaf floats in water because of surface tension of water / higher density.

A skin is part of the integumentary system / reproductive system.

What are we. Kindergarten students?

Anyone who has taken Biology in SPM will attest to the fact that it is one of the hardest to score. The amount of information, its Sejarah all over again in English- only with hormones. Well guys- the format changed, without any prior notice.

Paper 2 Biology
Section A- 6 Questions
Section B- 4 Questions (choose ANY two)

They actually scrapped off a whole section! (Section C)

Plus, they made the questions so general there was even time to do extras. In my mock exams you did the paper, chun, finish on time cant even check again. For SPM science subjects you do a couple of extras and you even have time to check through the paper... twice.

SPM was a sucker. Looks like Government lowered the standard tremendously.

PS- I dont get why they lowered the standard. Just make it as tough as it can get, and then lower down the differentiation gradient for a pass or an A1 score. Either way, English wins. =D

When UGS-ers get ahold of Guns

One day, after stuffing full with dim sum and everything else that can be ordered in Joyous Shanghai, the UGS'ers who attended decided to go for a jog to jog all the calories off.

But not everybody agreed. So we decided to go for a walk.

But there was nowhere to walk. So Jylene suggested we SLEEP it off.

But no bed was big enough. So she suggested we go to the beach and PLAY it off.

But the beach was too far. So we decided to just go home.

But that would mean all eat no exercise which would make us fat. So in the blardy end, we DROVE (We meaning those UGS-ers who hold valid Drivers license and have their car under insurance) to Hock Lee Center to SHOP all the excess calories off.

After us girls (Jyl, Nic, Vivian and myself) scoured all the boutiques on the lower floor, we ended up in the arcade. It was there when the innocent members of UGS were exposed to the dangers of guns.

*From here out on, everything is FICTIONAL*

(Fictional means NOT real. Fictional does NOT mean NON-fictional)



Josh careless mentioned to Cedric who was suffering from eattoomuchiritis when they were playing some bang-bang games Time Crisis 3 that he was picking up his Macbookpro later on .



Eattoomuchiritis is a chronic disease that makes the patient extremely prone to mood swings and suicidal because they think they're fat. All of this mostly in a space of 20 minutes or less. People suffering from eattoomuchiritis should never be put in vicinity of a gun or any other weapon that can be used to harm anybody else.

Cedric holds Josh at Gunpoint. He REALLY wants that Apple product that'd go PERFECTLY with his Nano.

Josh does not relent. Why on earth would he give his precious baby to Cedric?!

Ahah! The pro's of being ambushed in an Arcade would be the abundant supply of artilleries!

Cedric suddenly realises, he cannot win. Josh has his own personal record of completing time crisis 3 within two tokens. He can play it single-handedly. How can Ced be more than 300 figures on screen?!


But...problem is, Ced has never even THOUGHT of suicide until now when Sam makes him think of it in pink fonts . Where to shoot?! How to shoot?! Pull the trigger once or twice?!

Then, suddenly a light shines down from up above. Clarity floods Cedric, he is liberated, enlightened, empowered, having a friggin REVELATION. Steve Jobs A voice whispers into Cedric's ear and tells him.

"Cedric, pull the trigger 321 times if you will, but the only way somebody will die today, is if you aim at the black screen."

Cedric gets the message, loud and clear.


Cedric has learned how to use his gun.

(This post was a joke Cedric! I swear I mean nothing by it! NOTHING!!!)

=)

Sam says, THE END.

4 Blogging Styles I Really Like

1. Quaintly

Pinkpau/Su Ann's forte are her rants. Her thoughts unfold like paper butterflies on a digital canvas, and her prose is perfectly constructed, the kind you find in Booker shortlisters. Her words exude beauty: hair on the shower floor, braindust spiraling in the air. And her posts on Martian, her boyfriend, are a marvelous substitution for Chick Lit.

2. Dooce

Dooce is one of the few personal bloggers who make big money in the blogosphere. She's very good at taking tiny snippets of her life: random occurrences, minor incidences with her daughter, and she imbues them with life, wit, and good writing. These little snippets are like rays slicing into her life, allowing you an all-too-brief-a-look through her eyes.

3. Kamigoroshi

Edrei writes with absolute honesty. His posts are reflective, thoughtful ... though occasionally he writes things that make you smile. Some people think he's a girl, from the way his blog reads - but what he does well is that he takes the time to tell you not just what happened, but why it is important: to you, and to him.

4. Jonas Gumis

No kidding. Jonas has a good sense of storytelling - he times and paces his narrative, so even boring old events like St Jo's sports day come alive in his hands. I like it that he's naturally funny, and he can put on a lighthearted spin on serious topics. A downside to this is that my plug will probably boost his ego to stratospheric heights ... but at least he'll give us a laugh in the process, won't he?

Notice that I've left out Smashpop and Kenny Sia. I find they write too little, and their pictures do their talking for them. It's not a bad style of blogging, really, but it's just not my kind of thing.

Which probably explains why all of the above blogs are well written, well thought out affairs. What kinds of blogs are your favourites?

Democracy

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

Really ahh? That one Mr V in V for Vendetta say one ... is just a movie right? No real in the real world? How can! Garmen so scary and big wan. Got sodomy trail if you try anything. Shouldnt they be strong strong so can keep order wan?

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

Thomas Jefferson, the 3rd President of the United States, wrote the above words in a letter to William S. Smith in 1787. It became the basis of the 2nd amendment: that all Americans would have the right to arms; the right to guns.
The founding fathers apparently believed in a strong control to the government. The first control is that of what Thomas Carlyle calls the Fourth Estate. Jeffrey Archer makes the following observation in his novel of the same name:

"In May 1789, Louis XVI summoned to Versailles a full meeting of the 'Estate General'. The First Estate consisted of three hundred clergy. The Second Estate, three hundred nobles. The Third Estate, six hundred commoners. Some years later, after the French Revolution, Edmund Burke, looking up at the Press Gallery of the House of Commons, said, 'Yonder sits the Fourth Estate, and they are more important than them all.'"

But what Jefferson believed was this: a well armed populace which is not afraid to turn on its government is the ultimate check and balance.

God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion. The people cannot be all, and always, well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented, in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions, it is lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. ... And what country can preserve its liberties, if it's rulers are not warned from time to time, that this people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to the facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

It is its natural manure.

It is a scary thought, especially for us Malaysians, who practice a watered down form of democracy.

Lest we forget: democracy does not mean just elections. It means a government of the people, by the people, for the people, with a multitude of checks and balances in place to ensure the fair use of power, and justice, and peace.



We have a long way to go.

Note: I do not support the 2nd amendment, and I disagree with many elements of the American democracy. However, the purpose of this post is to show that there is more to the concept of democracy than elections, and the entire idea of "We are a democratic country, we are not like Myanmar or Pakistan because we hold erections once every 4 years" is ridiculous.

Less Updates.......

This blog is getting less update. Last time, we can see an update at least once in two days. Now, we can expect only one post in a week. I think this syndrome started few months ago.

Anyway, Tay just updated the blog today. A very unusual move by him. He seldom update his blog, what to say UGS blog... haha..

Where are the frequent contributers/updaters?? Sam and Wandkey?? For Sam, maybe she blog less because of PMR but the PMR has ended but still no post from her... Wandkey? Busy with university things, i suppose....

And the others? Only got comments from them but no post.... sighs....

Perhaps should just shut down this blog??? hahahha.... i'm just joking.....

Cuppy Cake Song

This song was uploaded to the Internet in 1996 and became an Internet phenomenon. From youtube:

No lip-syncing here folks, This is the REAL DEAL!: The original 1994 video of "The Cuppycake Song" (words and music by Judianna Castle) being recorded by the original artist (our daughter, Amy at age 3) in our home studio.

Although there were many takes of the song during the session, this was the one that made it onto our BALLOONS children's CD(www.cdbaby.com/buddycastle)and the one which has generated so much interest on the internet.

Since uploading "The Cuppycake Song" to the web in 1996, it has truly taken on a life of it's own. On You Tube alone, there are currently at least 1,000 videos using this song! In the last ten years we have received thousands of unsolicited comments from people of all ages across the US and many countries around the world who have been touched by this simple song and the tiny voice that sings it.

Now at last, you can see the face that goes with the voice. This should finally put to rest the false rumor that the song was sung by Strawberry Shortcake.
To read some of the many listener comments and to see additional photos of Amy, please visit us at www.cuppycake.com

Cute.

I'm Never Going To Complain About Kenny's Driving Again

This is a woman driver. She is driving at a very slow speed. She makes Kenny look like Michael Schumacher.



Classic.