I wish...

I was surfing friendster when I saw this on a page of some girl. It is shown under her "who I want to meet":

clickable

Learning from the words from the picture above, I learnt that I could never be her guy because the only thing I am capable of doing from her list is to 'make out in the pouring rain'.



Now that's not fair, if girls get to make their wish list on the perfect romantic imaginary guy they want to meet, we boys should also have the chance to write our own.


So here we go.

I want a Gurl.........

That can think rationally when they are not suppose to, especially towards the end of the month. PMS is not a valid reason to spend all my pocket money on a very expensive stuffed animal toy,the dog is cheaper, why choose the bear?


A gurl that will not expect me to 'move her hair away from her eyes and wrap my hands on her waist and kiss her from the back in motion with a bear hug ', it is very hard technically to do that in real life because one of my hand has to touch your head and the other your waist and to push myself to hug you from your back without rubbing my X to your X is nearly impossible, what more when all my friends are looking at me.


A gurl that would not call me 3 times a day, it is very annoying, can we just sms before sleep?


A gurl who will not tell EVERYTHING about me to her friends and smile about it, no, I have the right to keep quiet about my waistline and everything below it.


Please don't expect me to kiss you a million times, 1000000 is a huge number. I would have strike 100 times toto if I ever buy that amount of number of lottery ticket.


A gurl that would not force me to count stars with her, why don't we just count the moon?


Saying I love you loud and clear to you my gurl in front of my friends is sweet, but all my friends are leaving me because it makes them uncomfortable.


But mostly, I want someone who can have sex with me on top of the mountain in a thunderstorm. And forget about wish list, only Santa Clause will read such things and he doesn't exist. Go sleep lah.

Notice

We do not encourage personal attacks in blog posts. It reeks of immaturity.

I have set the post on Tay to private, for the following reasons:

1, Tay had nothing to do with the comments, and there is no concrete evidence against him.

2, Said post was a personal attack, and it is akin in the blogosphere to a calling out. (back in the day of knights and kings calling out means a duel to the death).

3, Any personal problems should be settled personally, not through public attacks.

4, It does not provoke quality thought, opinion, or intelligent discourse.

Freedom of speech is cool, but only with mature reasoning behind it. The annonymity of the web does not excuse public flogging.

Thank you for reading BUGS. I take full responsibility for the said post, and I will take harder action the next time this happens.


Yours truly,
Eli James

Of Photo Opportunities Almost Missed and Eye Opening Experiences

This was just one of those photography moments when you realise how much luck and chance play in capturing photos. Had I not raise my head after dragging my already worn out feet from Suria KLCC to the KL Convention Centre, had it not been for my mother who wanted to take a photo near that area... I may have missed this shoot.

I just LOVE this photo. In case you can't see it clearly, it's actually a photo of the famous Merdeka scene, with the man who fought for our nation's independence shouting "Merdeka!" on that fateful day, 31st August 1957, all this on the big glass windows of the Convention Centre. And there, reflected on the windows, are the tallest buildings of our country, the Petronas Twin Towers.

What an amazing difference between then and now, have we not come far? I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride of being Malaysian and all that, or perhaps it was also the realisation that this would have been something to share in this blog.

Just that afternoon, I reckon I was brainwashed a bit which led to such feelings, hehe. Whilst my parents were shopping at excruciating pace, my sister and I wandered the aforementioned shopping complex and by luck, again, we chanced upon an art exhibition held in conjunction with National Day at the Petronas Gallery, which I didn't even know existed. It was on the 3rd level, away from the crowds on one end of the shopping complex. Here, the dimmed lights and muted surroundings provided the environment to showcase the exhibitions which ranged from modern art, old school photographs made into collages, more traditional paintings, and a whole section about the buildings built when our country gained independence such as the Stadium Merdeka, House of Parliaments and National Museum. And there were cushy couches to sit on in a section too, bliss after a day's shopping.

There was even an art piece, with nothing but prose typed out, lamenting the state of literature in our country. I can't explain how exactly, but it was cool.

The whole experience was just so.. refreshing, for lack of a better word. That's what Malaysia really is about isn't it? A medley of varying experiences all in one place, and the exhibition being kind of a microcosm of it. Well, so ends my post, with a photo that I hope some may see meaning in as I have.

And do check out the exhibition if you can, it's on till the 30th of this month. It may be small, but hey, good things do come in small sizes too. Admission's free, in case anyone was wondering. Haha. We are Malaysians afterall.

why we should not say bad words

Bad words are words that are very bad. We should all learn not say it. Or even better, we shud not learn bad words at all. Almost every langguage and dialects has their own bad words. Those words are usually connected to genitals of man and woman. Many times, they are also associated with sexual acts between both sexes. Bad words is a foul expression. It is usually used when someone is angry, or when he feels that it is funny using those words. In Malaysia and Singapore, one of the most common foul langguage among chinese is ciba*. It brings a crude meaning of the female's genital. This word is very so common it is regconised, we can actually find it in an online dictionary call 'urban dictionary'. Saying bad words is very bad because it degrades our values and brings down our image or reputation. Although some of you like me has no reputation or image, we shud also avoid using bad words. Becuz when you do that, some people are sensitive and it will hurt them. Using bad words also show that we are not welly educated, or we do not have moral values. Saying bad words also show that we cannot express correctly or in other words, we cannot find better words to project our mind but to use bad words. That is mainly becuz bad words can be versatile at times. For example: ciba* can be used as a noun, verb, adjective and adverb.In noun, despite of saying the correct terms for the female genital, crude and bad people just use ciba*. In adjective, despite of saying a person is disgusting or ugly, they say, ciba* bin. That is very very bad. From my experience, saying bad words does comes in as a good joke while conversing with ppl or writing an article. For example using the word Fuc*. But the downside is that, most ppl are very intrigued when u use that word. Like most religious ppl and also those that come from a good family. So the conclusion is, we should all try to avoid using bad words, because it is really bad. And whatever the situation, we shud always try not to use the F word. Even when u can make a very good sentence with it. Like: Fuc* you, I don give a damn Fuc* to your Fuc*ing problem because you had caused me so much trouble with ur Fuc*ed brain. Now this is very bad. We should all instead be polite and gentle and tell people properly. Like: I'm sorry, you have caused me a lot of problem with your problem. I am starting to get angry. See, isn't this better? My point is........

"Happy 50th Independence Day Malaysia"

In real life, I do not use bad words



.

UGS Gathering August 23rd 2007

Looks like the BUGGERs are leaving the honours of blogging about the latest gathering to me. Firstly, thanks to the organiser Cedric and host Tay, without the two of them this gathering wouldn't have happened. And hey, you two do make a good team. :-P And of course, thanks to all the UGSers who helped made the gathering a success. I’m really so touched by all the effort put into this.

Since the gathering was held the evening that I just arrived from KL on a trip with my family, and Air Asia delayed the flight for almost an hour due to bad weather, needless to say, I was late. By the time I was there, it seemed that most of the eating had been done and they were just about finishing up. Daniel and Nicole were busy at the barbeque pit, even creating creations like marshmallow chicken, which really tastes better than it sounds, or looks. How dare Cedric say they looked like burnt condoms on chicken just as I was about to eat it. Haha. Roasted marshmallows taste really good by the way. Thanks to Kenny for buying the marshmallows all the way from KL, though I was just kidding when I suggested it, I didn’t think he would really do it.

Kids will be kids I guess, in this case big kids. And when kids eat, things are bound to get messy, right? We’re talking about spilled drinks, shrieks, insects falling into food, soft drink bottles shaked and conning people into opening them, spraying water at people while cleaning up. But it was sure funny to watch.

While some of the people still mucked about outside, some people suddenly caught the hardworking bug. Like this fellow BUGGER...

Attempting to do chemistry during a UGS gathering?!

Doing work on the computer during gathering?! Nah, in their case, they were just surfing the Internet.

When everything was kinda cleaned up, we proceeded to the living room to watch the video “Tai Lou” Kenny had made with his college mates.

Observe seating plan, intriguing.

After that, everything was kinda in a blur for me. Perhaps lack of sleep was getting to me. I remember Vivian and Sam scurrying into a room most suspiciously. I remember apple pie cutting, which ended up in Ced, Vivian and Nicole being locked into the kitchen area, and out of the house. I remember Kenny showing me and Angeline his before going to KL and after photos on his laptop, how different he looked back then. I remember Andrew complaining about people from school. I remember Sam serving the apple pie she made, which was really nice. I remember Kenny saying Nicole’s home-made brownies looked like earthquake, *They do not! And they taste good!* And then, there was Tay who put in the DVD for that horror movie SAW and skipping to the gory parts, thank goodness Cedric put an end to that.

Then suddenly out of nowhere, Sam pops up beside me, and an ominous feeling overcame me. Hehe. I knew something was up, rightly so. Moments later, when Sam had everybody’s attention, she popped the question. “What size bikini do you wear?”Like what?! I sure was slow that day, didn’t know how to answer such a question, quite taken aback too. Out of nowhere, a black MANGO bag appeared.

“Uhoh...”I thought. Finally, after teasing me enough, they handed me the bag, and I reached into it to reveal a....

YEP, that’s the bikini in the photo on the right. Daniel thought the same way as I did and suggested maybe it was those kinds of clothes that you soaked in water and it expanded. Haha. Okay, so it’s actually just a scented decorative item.

I also got a book from I think, the guys, Cedric, Paul, Tay. The biscuits, I’m taking a wild guess, is from Kenny? And the Micro SD card is from Andrew, Ben and Dwen. The bikini and lollipop are probably from the girls, Sam, Vivian and Nicole. Thank you all!

The note in the book, Aaawww...

Signatures of the UGSers who went for the gathering, also in the book

Signature of Ced and Tay side by side, so sweet.

Finally, the time came for the gathering to end. Just before I left, went to thank Ced and Tay for making the gathering happen. After Cedric hugged, he asked “Will we ever see you again?” To which I answered, “CHOI CHOI CHOI!” Which means touch wood. Ah, nothing can really keep me away from the Internet for long, and as long as I can get online, I will not be apart from UGS and UGSers. Thanks so much for everything. You will still be hearing from me, don’t worry, I will still blog whenever I can.

For those who are wondering, I’m leaving Kuching on 12^th of September. So, don’t say goodbye too early, I’m still in Kuching la, for now.

Kenny just blogged about this gathering to at his blog.

Observe

Here we have the great Josh Groban

And here we have Mika.

Similarities anyone?
Mika is Josh Groban with a serious hangover.

Call the press!

Mika: Life in Cartoon Motion

I was rendered speechless when I first saw Mika on tv.


All I saw is a skinny 20-ish guy with a big wavy shock of brown hair and skin tight clothes bouncing around. He's super hyper. Like a kid on a 24-hour sugar rush. It was a little - scary, for the lack of a better word.

But his songs started growing on me so I decided to get the CD for a change of taste from the mainstream music (read: manufactured pop, hiphop, rap and all those that people condemn oh-so-much but listen to as well) I feed my mind with. I was mildly surprised that the whole of Life in Cartoon Motion does not consist entirely of hyper-lala-along songs.

If you want a break from your normal taste in music, this is the CD to get. Listen to the 10 tracks on it and you'll find that Mika is just a singer/songwriter who writes and sings about, well, basically anything and everything under the sun. If there is one word I would use to describe his music, it would be honest. Because even though the lyrics and beats are repetitive, they speak to you with truth. The songs are easy to sing along to - that is, if you don't try to strain your vocal cords too much by trying to hit a note that is about two octaves higher than your normal pitch. And the beats get really addictive.

Grace Kelly is quirky but cute. Mika gets all crazy and colourful in his funky songs, Lollipop (which sounds like a cheerleading song), Love Today (which anyone can probably recognise from tv), and Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) (hats off to someone who would sing about big girls - how many have you seen so far anyway?). Relax (Take It Easy) is simply what the title implies while Stuck in the Middle has an repetitive accompaniment that gets you addicted after a while. He also has slow songs which, I suppose, most would consider to be more inclined to the "normal" side. My Interpretation is a song that is easy to relate to. Any Other World and Billy Brown are nice on the ears with easy beats. Happy Ending gives an appropriate ending to the album, with its simple message of one that is jaded and resigned to a not so happy ending. There is also a hidden track in the CD if you listen close enough.

With an album cover like this and such happifying songs, I would say that Life in Cartoon Motion is definitely worth buying.

Booker Prize Longlist (Malaysia Boleh!)

Malaysian author Tan Twan Eng's The Gift Of Rain recently made it into the Booker Prize longlist, much to my (and to all other Malaysian litbloggers') delight. Sharon Bakar has been making it a point to plough through the entire series of books in the hopes of finishing it before the shortlist comes out, though she thinks she won't be able to make it.


But here's an interesting thing: Tan Twan Eng is based in South Africa. Yes, he does come back to Malaysia, but the fact remains he is overseas for a good part of his time, and his book was published by Myrmidon Books Ltd (certainly not local!).

If you recall, the other great book to be written by a Malaysian in recent times was Tash Aw's The Harmony Silk Factory, which sparked off a bidding war, was nominated for the IMPAC Dublin award, and went on to become an international bestseller.


It's also a very good book (I read it when I was supposed to be studying for the SPM *yikes*).

So no surprise as Silverfish clobbers most of the local authors on the head in his post on Twan Eng's book:

While basking in the glow of vicarious glory, one cannot help but notice something: all these writers live outside the country. Why? Are Malaysians only able to get anything done when they leave the country? One can't help feeling that there are so many more successful Malaysians outside the country than inside.

Ouchies.

And then - even better:

... Is the lack of Malaysian writings the fault of our education system, then? Sure. Who hasn't heard of the many disturbing stories about our schools and the teachers? If it is, then how does one explain the writers mentioned above? Did they not attend the same local schools when they were here? Maybe they went overseas for their tertiary education, one might say. That could be it. But then how does that explain the 'failure' of those who come back from overseas after their education? No stimulus? No peers to push them on? It cannot be that we have no talent. The writers mentioned above were born here too.

Double ouchies.

Sharon, to her credit, goes on to provide reasons for this writing drought back home. The one that interests me the most is this:

Some go because ... and this is the controversial one that will have me clapped in irons ... Malaysia - let's face it - has a wonderful knack of stifling creativity.

In an environment where freedom of expression is seriously curtailed, where books and films are banned and restricted, where politicians take offense at satire, where Malay filmmakers and authors are harangued for letting the race down, where folks of different races do not feel they have an equal stake in the future of the country, where gays and lesbians face discrimination, where Malay women writers who dare write their mind have their websites hacked and receive death threats ... is it any wonder that authors look for a place where they can create without fear of censure? You see, everything is connected. One very prominent Malay writer told me that his most prized possession is his passport, and he's ready to leave if the current political and social environment becomes anymore restrictive.

It sounds depressing, yet there are writers out there who manage to produce work locally. Kam Raslan is one - publishing a cheeky commentary on Malaysian life (and getting away with it), and Sharon recognizes a great pool of young Malaysian talent whom she has met through blogs and writing courses.

Here's a shoutout to all you closet writers (coughincludingmecough). We just might be the answer to our country's creativity drought ... once our work is out there for people to read. So sharpen your pencils and take out your books. Write and write and write ... and get published.

Because, failing that, we'll all need tickets to South Africa.

Who's willing to sponsor mine?

Goodbye Malaysia

Well so much for Malaysia and the WBC. Better luck next time.

Pimp BUGS?

I saw this on Smashpop today, and I wondered, can we, should we, nominate The Undergroundsquare Blog for this pimp?


The prizes seem good, new blog header designed by Smashpop himself, being featured on his blog, a badge to show that you're pimped, a music player, not to mention the publicity. But that's for 1st prize. Now, if we wanted to do this, it would really take a lot of cooperation. All the UGSers that blog putting up the Pimp badge on their personal blogs for starts, and getting other people to help too. Well, what do you fellow BUGGERs think?

Read up on the post for details and how the contest works.

Patriotisme of a Little Kid

My mum told me what happened in her school last week. It was so funny I can't help but tell it here. Let's see if it has the same effect. The cuteness of little kids. ----

She was hanging up flags to celebrate National Day when one of her students, a little boy suddenly came up to her and asked her what she was doing.

"Hanging flags."
"What are flags?"
"These. Here, you see. These are our Sarawak flag and Malaysian Flag".



It's kind of hard, to explain the concept of a flag to a 4 year old kid. So at the end of her diluted explanation of what a flag stood for, the kid just stared.

"It's to celebrate Hari Merdeka. Malaysia being free !"

The little kid FINALLY got the "gist " of it and exclaimed.

"OHHHH!!! Malaysia Boleh hia?"
--------

This is what good advertising of catchphrases such as Malaysia Boleh does to kids.

Mind Over Matter

There are some things that you discover and just go, “That really exists?!”. The following is one of such, for me.

While working, I came across a term in one of the training programme notes organized by the company, NLP. After Googling it, I realised that it was really quite a fancy acronym for something that basically meant Hypnosis. Yes, the power of unlocking minds and using the hidden potential. I don’t know about you, but it seems scary to me.

NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. From it’s quite scientific, technical sounding name, you would have hardly thought it could mean something as dubious as hypnotherapy. From what I’ve read, its methods are even used in sales. As if the methods they use aren’t sneaky enough.

Here’s a bit of what I read that I couldn’t get out of my mind.

It was describing a method in which salespeople can use to garner positive response from the customer. When the salesperson has made the customer laugh at something, he/she can put his/her finger lightly on the arm of the customer, for 2 seconds. Why 2 seconds? Because that’s typically how long the laughter would last, any longer and the customer may be disturbed. (See? They have even got this down to a science.)
After repeating the process effectively for some time, when the salesperson just touches his/her finger lightly on the customer’s arm, it is said to invoke the same positive response and the customer would laugh, regardless of whether what the salesperson said is really that amazingly funny.

This method involves the using of what is called in psychology, “Anchoring”. I’ll quote from Wikipedia..

Anchoring is a neuro-linguistic programming term for the process by which memory recall, state change or other responses become associated with (anchored to) some stimulus, in such a way that perception of the stimulus (the anchor) leads by reflex to the anchored response occurring.

So what now? Are you telling me that the power of sub-conscious is so strong that I can be affected without even being aware of it? That’s a very scary thought.

What if the leaders of the world became masters at this methods of “hypnosis”, could they effectively brainwash an entire population? What if people could be suckered into buying a car they couldn’t afford through this? What if someone who meant to harm could drive another person into depression which led to suicide?

It all sounds a little vague here, but there’s actually a lot of “mind programming” going on in our lives, whether or not we are aware of it. The mass media, advertisements, propaganda. I need not say more.

Well, there are some benefits if you can properly apply NLP and put it to good, ethical use. It seems quite extensive, and the methods basically relate to psychology. Like mind over matter, “telling yourself you can do it, then you can do it”, all those.

I admit that I do not fully understand this topic yet, and if there are any factual errors in my post, I'm terribly sorry. However, I still would take anything I hear about like this with a pinch of salt. It’s a dangerous world out there, watch your back.

Love is in the air..

In life, there are many kinds of loves, as there are many kinds of shoes. Here’s a list on the types of shoes in life and indirectly, the types of loves.

1. Stilettos

They look insanely hard to walk in, and indeed they are. But when you put them on, the attention you attract makes you feel on top of the way. You feel more confident, more alive, more outgoing even. The sexiness it exudes just gives off “Don’t mess with me” vibes. Some love partners are like stilettos, being with them puts you in the scene, but as with stilettos, they really can cause major aches in the long term so you can’t always wear stilettos.

2. Pumps

Pumps are basically shoes that cover all round and have a heel. Typically for formal wear, so conservative that even your mother would approve. Sure they are some that look nicer, but basically they are typically thought of as for more mature tastes.

3. Slippers

Fun and comfortable. Who doesn’t like slippers? Nice to wear on a day at the beach or just taking a leisurely stroll on a summer day. But can you wear them to a formal event, to the office, to meet the parents? Not exactly…

4. Sneakers/Sport Shoes

The rush of freedom and the “I can do anything” vibe when you wear these shoes is just exhilarating. Just putting them on already makes you feel sporty and ready to go. You feel like you can go on forever in them. But can you really?

5. Bedroom slippers

You just get so comfortable with bedroom slippers that you just don’t want to change them sometimes. But there’s a reason why bedroom slippers don’t see much daylight, they are not exactly something you would want to be seen out and about in. Less you are into the kitsch, kawaii look or something.

6. Strappy Heels

Strappy Heels are oh so beautiful but oh so heartbreaking as well. Few can stand them for long, though they do make you feel wonderful while you are wearing them. Typical evening out fare, you can’t really do without at least one strappy heels in your life. But wear them out and about during the day and you risk getting serious feet ache or zebra tan lines.

So you can see, there is nothing such as the perfect shoe, as there is nothing such as the perfect love. People have different prefences, and sometimes we don’t always make the right choices. I, for one, tend to always fall for the same type of shoes. Go figure what that says about the affairs of my heart. Haha. Anyway, here’s to rounding up yet another spur of the moment post. Hope everyone has a great week ahead, which would hopefully put people in a good blogging mood! :-)

Once upon a time I read a manga titled Anatolia Story. Well, actually now it's known as By The Red River as it has been renamed by the American publisher, Viz. It is a story of how a highschool girl, Yuuri, was brought to the past by the power of the evil Queen Nakia, wife to the current ruler of the Hittite Empire (modern day Turkey). Queen Nakia wanted her as a sacrifice to her deity so that her young child, the 6th prince will become the next king of the empire. However Yuuri was saved by the 4th prince, Kail. So then starts a story of romance and adventure as Yuuri tries to make her way back to modern Japan while dealing with her love for Prince Kail. By The Red River is 28 volumes long, and is written by Shinohara Chie, also famous for her romance mangas.

While browsing through MangaUpdates, a website with information on mangas, I came across Kanata Kara, or From Far Away. Since it was recommended for lovers of By The Red River I decided to read it. Written by Hikawa Kyoko, this manga has 14 volumes. The story is almost similar: Noriko, a highschool girl, found herself in a different world when the train she was on got bombed. She was saved by a warrior, Izark, when attacked by worm-like creatures. Little did she know that she was the Awakening who would one day awaken the sky demon. Many countries are trying to find her in order to control the sky demon and become powerful. So starts Noriko's and Izark's journey to escape from her pursuers and to resolve the mystery of the sky demon.

My school

Kuching Town No.1 is one of the unacknowledged best school in Kuching. It is known for its notorious and smart students. Now it is easy to find smart student just as it is easy to find notorious ones, but we are the only school that can combine these two excellent qualities into one stud. And that has made us No.1 for the past 30 years.


Among the two outstanding students that graduated from that school are firstly the popular singer


Lin Yu Zhong


And of course the Times awarded one of the 100 most influential people of the world, Andrew Ho






No Kidding, I was so popular, students from other schools can't help but make me their role model. For example, Tay, my fan from St Thomas could not stop talking about my ass in school he carries a big sign around saying it.






I wanted to post some pictures of the school, but failed to get a permit from the school board. They told me that this blog has not meet the ISO standards so bopien lor cannot post it up here. However having heard that my school, my class, the block me and Yu Zhong used to study in was burnt down 2 months ago, I managed to sneaked in and caught some of the best pictures that I would like to share.



This was the block I used to study in





This was the my class





And this was where I first had sex





It feels funny now they're all burnt down............. but no matter what may change, some things remain the same.... fuck lah.


As for now, I have left Kuching Town No.1 and studying in another lousy school.


But even so, we would always bear in mind, the things that we learnt and carry on the humble, serious, commited and dedicated attitude in pursuing knowledge, wherever we, graduates of Kuching Town No.1 are.

To prove that, this is my current form 6 class.

A Child's Guide To United States Foreign Policy

This piece is currently floating around cyberspace.

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?

A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction honey.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.

A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?

A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?

A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?

A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?

A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?

A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.

A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?

A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?

A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?

A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?

A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?

A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?

A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?

A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?

A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?

A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?

A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?

A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?

A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?

A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.

A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?

A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?

A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?

A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?

A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?

A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?

A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?

A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, fifteen of them Saudi Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?

A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?

A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?

A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?

A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?

A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?

A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?

A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?

A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What's the difference?

A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.

A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.

A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?

A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?

A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.

A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?

A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets ? I mean, the Russians ? are now our friends?

A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?

A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?

A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?

A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?

A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?

A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?

A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?

A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?

A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?

A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?

A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?

A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?

A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

Top 5 ways to curb Internet addiction/Tales of a Friday afternoon

Top 5 ways to curb Internet addiction

1. “Forget” to pay the Internet bills.
2. Sabotage your computer and/or laptop, or if you can’t bring yourself to do that, hand it to someone for safe keeping.
3. Get a life.
4. Have someone change your Internet password and not let you know about it
5. Subscribe to Streamyx, our nation’s number 1 Internet service provider, unbeatable Internet access speeds and reliability!

It doesn’t take much to figure out from point number 5 why I have not been able to blog at all last week. Here’s to hoping I can post this up.

Anyway, what do you get when you put three UGSers together in one car?

One who knows the directions, already has a real driving license but does not drive.
One who doesn’t know directions, has a probationary driving license but is appointed driver.
One who is okay with directions, okay with driving, but chooses to sit at the back perusing The Wings, St Mary’s school bulletin.

Well, the above was the case on Friday, after watching The Simpsons and headed for dessert at Sunny Hill after lunch. By the way, the movie was really funny and I probably would have been missing out on watching the best movie this… season(??) if it weren’t for someone’s persuading. I’m really not that keen on The Simpsons. Hence the movie was a delightful surprise.

Okay, back to the point, the driving. I have to admit it’s the first time in my life I have sat in a car with two other guys and end up being the one giving directions. (Yes, I am the one who has a license but does not drive *blush*) Of course, no fault of the driver, we do thank him very much. Without whom we wouldn’t have been able to carry out phase two of the afternoon, and eat ice-cream which has the consistency of mousse. Haha. All in all, Friday afternoon well spent, away from the office.

5 Centimeters Per Second

Rarely do I come across movies which I feel compelled to blog about, much less animes. But this time, I just can't ignore the urge.


5 Centimeters Per Second - simply the best anime movie I've ever seen. It's so beautiful in so many ways. The art is nothing short of breathtaking, the soundtrack is amazing but most of all - the storyline is delivered in such a delicate yet powerful way.


Of all the animes I've watched, nothing comes close to this in terms of production quality. Every frame is meticulously drawn, almost never recycling scenes like how many other animes do. Many of the scenes were based on real-world locations, and utterly I'm amazed by how much detail the artists of 5 Centimeters Per Second managed to capture.


The soundtrack left me hopelessly addicted to the movie. Playing it over and over again just to listen to the incredibly beautiful tracks. The music blends so well into the movie, and it inevitably injects much of the emotion that the movie aims to present.


"A chain of short stories about their distance". This movie is literally painful to watch. Every minute was heartrending. It portrays the bittersweet lives that many can relate to. It's frighteningly real. It doesn't end with a simple "... and they lived happily ever after". That only happens in fairytales. It illustrates how much lives can change through time and distance. How much distance can mean so much, yet so little.

It might be an anime, but it's on a whole different level.


The last 5 minutes of the one-hour long movie were filled with as much emotion as the entire hour itself. So very many scenes, flashing by so quickly, barely having enough time to digest them. Such a short period, yet so much happened. Every scene is masterfully, never aimlessly , crafted. Every second meant something. If a picture is worth a thousand words, by the end of the 5 minutes you'd have a novel.

That 5 minutes alone, will keep you wondering for the next 5 days.


5 Centimeters Per Second is painful to watch, but never have I come across pain as beautiful as this.

Why Men Are Happier

Your last name stays put
The garage is all yours
Wedding plans take care of themselves
Chocolate is just another snack
You can be president
You can never be pregnant
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park
You can wear no T-shirt to a water park

Car mechanics tell you the truth
The world is your urinal
You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet just because this one is too icky
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
Same work, more pay
Wrinkles add character
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them

The occaional well-rendered belch is practically expected
New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet
One mood- all the time
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
You know stuff about tanks

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase
You can open all your own jars
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend

Your underwear is RM50 for a three-pack
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough
You almost never have strap problems in public
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes
Everything on your face stays its original colour
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades
You only have to shave your face and neck

You can play with toys all your life
Your belly hides your big hips
One wallet, one pair of shoes, and one colour for all seasons
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes

-Sathiawathy Veerasamy, The Star-

Classic.