When Bad Writing Becomes Funny

Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay:

* He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

Joseph Romm, Washington

* She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station

* The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

Russell Beland, Springfield

* McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring

* From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Roy Ashley, Washington

* Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

* Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Russell Beland, Springfield

* Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake

Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills

* Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

Unknown

* He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

Jack Bross, Chevy Chase

* The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring

* Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

Russell Beland, Springfield

* Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

Jennifer Hart, Arlington

* The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.

* They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth

Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.

* John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

Russell Beland, Springfield

* The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria

* His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free

Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

* The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

Unknown

Based on an unoriginal article in the Washington Post.

Can You Hold Back?

You should know by now that i rarely blog, especially when this is my debut BUGS post.

Btw, the reason for my post:



Couldn't resist myself.

Photo of snow in Kuching?

I could scarcely believe my eyes, snow in Kuching! Who would have thought?

Well actually, it’s just Saberkas taken through a very dusty car window. I was fooling around with my camera in the car, trying to snap photos as I passed by places, trying my luck. Most of them, as expected, turned out blur. Especially since it’s night, and the car is not the most suitable place to take photos. And I don’t like to put up photos that are blur if possible.

Then, my 10 year old brother decided to try a hand at it too. Similarly, many of them turned out blur and not that good. However, he managed to capture some pretty cool photos. I wonder if it’s just beginner’s luck or whether he has some innate talent. Heh. Take a look…

Mojo, the chill out place behind Denise winesellers. The car was stopping at the traffic light at that time, so this photo is quite clear.

And this is the church association place. He really was lucky with this photo I think, the car was moving at that time and he somehow got this shot.

Joost Reviewed

You haven't heard about Joost? No? Well ... have you heard about Kazaa, then? Or Skype? Both were industry shaking, ground breaking software, completely revolutionizing the way we consume music and talk.

Joost is made by the same guys.

They say it'll revolutionize the way we watch TV.

So a couple weeks ago I received an invite to the Joost beta test (don't ask me why - I just love being part of betas. I still have my Vox 'beta tester' button ... somewhere). I downloaded the software and launched it ... waiting to see what the heck it was all about.

The startup screen looks oddly retro - great dazzling neon on black. And it's fullscreen - like the rest of the program.

It then prompts you to log in, saving your settings and doing so automatically the next time you load it up.

Now for the good stuff ... the shows themselves.


Joost displays a selection of channels (Gamestar, MTV Staying Alive) ... and then the shows in each of them. You can scroll through with the My Channels button on the left of the screen, select a show and then wait as it loads up. Streaming is obviously an issue here - but Joost's creators have enough experience in delivering content over the net to make it worthwhile ... all the shows I watched had good video quality, and was smooth as long as my blaardy Streamyx remained cooperative.

It sure beats watching Youtube in your browser.

Now you may be asking: so what? Joost is about the same as my Astro ... ain't it? Joost certainly has functions that are typical to your average cable setup - the info button at the top of the screen pops up to give you some background on the show you're watching.

But there's more.

A My Joost section allows you to chat with users on the same channel. You send invites to your friends here, as well as a plethora of other 'widgets' - feed readers and clocks and Instant Messaging. Not particularly sure how this works - why would I want to stop a music video to ask opinions of it? It may be a novelty at the moment - Joost is definitely going somewhere with this section, and I can't wait to see what they do.


The selection of shows and channels are quite a disappointment. You sense they're aiming for geeks with the beta - there's Indy Cars and Fight Network and The Soccer Channel. No food or lifestyle shows. No cartoons (alright, that's just me talking). Sad, sad, sad.


But I've a feeling they're taking this places. These guys didn't become rich for launching mediocre software - I won't be surprised if they get Disney to sign on soon enough.

Till then, I'll be happy watching 22 grown men kicking balls on my computer screen. Or two guys punching the hell out of each other. Such utter testosterone oozing out of my screen.

Wow.

You must excuse me now. I've got Good Charlotte talking about sex in the other window, and I don't want to miss it.


The end.

Spam

Anyone in UGS would know that the number 1 battle we're fighting is against spam. Spam of any kind is unwanted, unneeded and totally blah. We're winning that battle at the moment - all pistons charged and pumping, discussions on homosexuality and open mindedness are full underway. So no spam is good.

I hate spam.

Do you hate spam?

Think Again...

Quote: "If you come for badminton gatherings more often, you'll learn to love badminton."

Partly because of my aching legs, I decided to make this prequel post on todays UGS badminton gathering ( There will be a proper post on the gathering, RIGHT? ). I must say that I had lotsa fun playing with everyone including the SBA fella. But for the fella who the quote was to be for, you sure you're gonna love it?

Ey, really fun what. You run around the court hitting back the shuttle AND can do all kinds of moves:

stretching your arms

do high kicks

ah yes, the splits

God knows what this is

Anyway, it's no big deal. Besides, it's good exercise. I hope more BUGGERS would come for the badminton gatherings in the future. Who knows, someone might pull of a spectacular move like the last pic, and score a point as well.

The Superficial

As I’m on the way to work these days, I pass by three slimming and beauty centres, three of them within two rows of shops. Every day, I will have to walk pass Bella Skincare multiple times, once when I go to work, then two times when I go to and from lunch, and finally another time when I go home. And if I go to work using the other way, I’ll pass by Marie France Bodyline nearby. The shopfronts entices people with posters of beautiful, slim models, so scantily clad that I used to wonder how they would even allow that in a country like this. Typically the models are Asian, tall, busty, fair, long hair and have long long legs, and of course thin.

Who would naturally look so perfect? It’s just illusions, skillful photoshopping and all that. However, they create an ideal that many feel pressured to live up to. Walk into any shopping mall on a weekend and take a look at what the youngsters are wearing, there are even kids who dress so scantily you might mistake them for being almost 20. Flip through a fashion magazine, do you see any models who aren’t skinny? And then that brings up all the issues about anorexia, bulimia, underweight models being banned in fashion shows. What has this world come to?

Why do we feel that we have to live up to the paragon? What is the paragon anyway? Why do I even care until I blog about this?

Well, after walking past that fateful shopfront one day, I actually felt inadequate. I know I’m not fat, but I actually felt out of shape and having the complexion of a typical teenager didn’t help. Then I realised how dangerous this really is. All my life, I have regarded these places as being for the rich, misguided souls. What if one day, I actually may buy into this hype in a moment of vulnerability?

Oh don’t get me started on all the things promising to make you a better you. The list is endless. Skincare products, food products, cosmetics, hair products…..

Oh well, what to do? Looks sells. And image and first impressions accounts for so much in this superficial world. Bleh.

Stupidity or Joke???

Malaysian Ministers are very controversial. First, we have an AP Queen, the Minister of International Trade and Industry. She was under fire last time, because of the Approved Permits scandal for vehicles imported.

Then, we have a king of construction, Samy Vellu, Minister of Works. He was criticised badly for the Kepong MRR2 cracks. The Maika scandal, of whom many Indians who invest in that company do not get their dividends. And the Bakun Dam project, yet to be completed despite it started more than 10 years ago! Even the world's largest Three Gorges Dam in China takes less than 10yrs to be completed.

Not enough with that? We have another Dep. Min. accused for accepting bribes ammounting RM5mil for the release of detainees, one of them was believed to be a brother of a MCA Dep. Min.

There are many other scandal involving our 'beloved' ministers, including the Sarawak's 'pek moh'. I don't want to elaborate on that....

Do you guys read about this? http://malaysia-today.net/blog2006/newsncom.php?itemid=4168
,
Our Minister of Information is trying to 'teach' the British Broadcasting Corporation(BBC) on how to do their job... It's a shame that our Minister do that, because, it had nothing to do with him! He's not the Min. Of Info of Britain! It is their right(BBC) to interview anyone in this world. The BBC is a well-known News Channel and i often watch it but i still prefer CNN. The mainsteam media in Britain can report anything they want. It's the Media Freedom unlike in Malaysia where i didn't see there is existence of Media Freedom!!

All newspapers, tv stations, no matter owned by gov. or private, they don't report things about the opposition! Just look at the Ijok-By-Election. Where got reports about PKR's candidate? There is much propaganda to make the viewers to vote for BN. I'm sick of the mainstream media in Malaysia!

Anyway, Zainuddin Maidin has no right to teach the BBC! He better look after RTM!! RTM channels are very boring and it's not a First Class, i would rate it worse, a third-world standard.


"It would be appropriate if the air time was given to the opposition political parties that had a place in politics in Malaysia, but why focus on people who have been rejected?" Bernama quoted Information Minister Zainuddin Maidin as saying.

Do he mean Anwar have been rejected?? Where is the proof? He's been sacked and imprisoned and he has not contested in elections after that and why do he say Anwar have been rejected?

Bernama added: "He (Zainuddin) said the BBC move did not help to enhance relations between Britain and Malaysia and did not accord respect to the democratic decision of the Malaysian people in their rejection of the opposition political parties.

"Oh, like that lah? I still remember Malaysian newscaster labeling PM Blair as a dog of Washington. What about Dr. M always make statements which are very anti-western? Don't you think that it will hurt the US and UK particularly???

Haiz.... Malaysia boleh memang boleh... Menteri lagi boleh! Welcome to Malaysia!! Happy 50th Merdeka Day and Visit Malaysia Year 07.. But VMY07 is a failure, don't you think so?

Kick My Ask

So CUTE!



“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.”-Pablo Picasso on innocence

Want to have your blog featured here in BUGS?

Okay, I need any good excuse for writing a blog post here due to my pact with The Boss, which means having to blog thrice weekly here. So today, we are going to play a game.

Whoever who can most accurately answer all the following questions concerning the BUGGERS here in this blog the fastest, will have his or her blog reviewed here in BUGS. BUGGERS of course will not be eligible for this little game.

Question time…

1. Who is The Boss? (Easy question)
2. Who in BUGS just got a new camera?
3. Which BUGGER in BUGS blogroll has yet to make a single post?
4. Who in BUGS loves purple?
5. Who in BUGS loves green?
6. Who in BUGS loves orange?
7. Which BUGGERS are currently residing in Kuala Lumpur?
8. Do we have any BUGGERS outside of Malaysia? If so, who?
9. Who among the BUGGERS is the eldest?
10. Which BUGGER has been posting the most here in BUGS recently?

So, just answer the 10 simple questions above and you may have your blog featured here in The Undergroundsquare Blog (BUGS), it’s that simple! Answers in the comments please.

Kuching Makan Places Episode 3: Scoops

Just yesterday, a friend of mine asked me whether I would like to go to Scoops with her and hang out. I seem to be getting in luck these days, been invited to go to some of the more fancy eateries in Kuching. Which explains the previous few eatery reviews I’ve posted up here in BUGS.

So, yesterday it was Scoops, a gelato bar, probably first of its kind here in Kuching. In fact, first time I’ve been there since it opened last year, partly scared off by the supposedly pricey gelato there. Just before going out, I had been forewarned that the gelato costs RM5 for a single cup. Hmm… much more than the price any ordinary Kuchingnite would pay for ice-cream. But nevertheless, after hearing all the raves and reviews about it, I just had to try it out for myself.

So that was how it came to be that I found myself in front of the counter, faced with a tough decision to make, “Which out of the 14 flavours of gelato should I fork out RM5 for?” Thankfully, they allowed free tasting so you can sample a bit of the gelato there to find out which you would rather have. I think my friend and I sampled almost all of the flavours there.

On that day, there was Dark Chocolate, French Vanilla, Butterscotch, Lychee Sorbet, Avocado, Passionfruit Sorbet, Kiwi Apple, Horlicks, Raspberry Cream, Banana Cheese, Mango Sorbet, Green Tea, Espresso and Tomato flavour. Yes, tomato flavour, I wonder if that would taste funky. Supposedly, the flavours are changed quite often so you get to try different flavours with almost every visit. For a single flavour cup it’s RM5, a double flavour cup costs RM8, and the triple flavour cup I didn’t bother to see the price because I wouldn’t be able to afford it anyway.

Behind the counter, there’s a menu on a lighted board where you can see there are sundaes, cold drinks, hot drinks, gelato cocktails, and kiddy sundaes on offer. Well, the prices range from RM8 to RM15 for the sundaes, and the drinks cost from RM5 to RM10, whilst the cocktails are RM15 each.

And here’s a photo of the menu, I like the silhouette of the glasses against the menu…

All the gelato flavours were pretty strong, so I settled for something a little milder, French Vanilla. Although the Butterscotch was tempting, and so was the Passionfruit Sorbet. Here’s a photo of what I had, and the complimentary glass of water served.

The interior deco of the place is kinda retro modern, I don’t know why this style seems so popular in places these days. Along one side are tables and chairs, all in sleek black. However, my friend and I settled ourselves on the hot pink leather couch in a corner that had some throw cushions. Pretty comfy since there weren’t anybody else there that time except us. Afterall, it was a Thursday morning.

Another photo, note the reflection of the adjacent Hilton Hotel on the glass-topped table.

Well, the gelato there I would say is pretty good, really full of flavour. I could see the black dots of crushed vanilla pods in my gelato, nice… But the price, well, if you want quality, that’s what you have to pay.

Science and Maths? Sains dan Matematik?

I am now 19 and I have been taught science and mathematics in three languages, English, Malay and Mandarin. How did this come to be?

Well, I went to Chinese primary school where I learnt basic science and maths in Mandarin. Went to government secondary school where until Form 5, I learnt the two subjects in Malay. And then, the education system changed in 2002 and the whole system was revamped so that science and maths is taught using English from primary to secondary school. I was spared the transition until Form 6 when I had to relearn all the terms in English.

Undoubtedly, it was not that smooth a transition, there were many things that had to be relearned, even basic terms in maths such as knowing that “What is the product of 2 and 3?” means “2 multiplied by 3”. Simple stuff like that, to learning that “conical flask is kelalang kon”. For some, it was challenging to adapt to learning the two subjects in English, to say the least.

After so many years of being under this Malaysian education system, I do not have much complaints. Afterall, if such a system can produce students worthy of going to world-renowned universities and later become successful and useful citizens of the nation, something must be going right. And yes, students who go for Form 6 and sit for STPM can even get into Harvard, Oxford, Cambridge, Yale and the like, Malaysia Boleh!

Recently however, the education ministry has announced plans that it is considering going back to teaching science and mathematics in Malay, just like the old days, which raises many issues.

First and foremost, I’d like to give my two cents on this. I’m very grateful that I had the chance to learn science and maths in English in form 6, better late than never. It is better than having to relearn those subjects in English later on in university, which would be a very hard transition to make. And the kids in schools nowadays, they have been learning science and maths using English ever since Primary 1. Getting them to change back to using Malay is not impossible but is it the best decision?

I’m sure the government has their valid reasons for this proposal, but what do you think?

Nevertheless, whatever the decision of the government will be, I am quite sure that the students will probably take it in good stride. They have shown themselves to be good at adapting to the changes made in the education system, whether major or minor. Time will tell whether the decisions made are for the better or worse.

I've Got A New Hobby!

I couldn't believe it myself when i was running around with a Cannon 10D-50mm snapping away at everything and anything! Photography. Something that I never thought I would take up as my new hobby. First it was mahjong, then it was pleating strings but now it's photography. Funny that a simple piece of information could trigger my passion for photography. I've still got to get the basics right first though: composition, aperture and ISO. But after a few weeks with a reasonably good camera, a few hundred pics and more photography lectures, I should be able to get the drift of photography. Below is my best pic after a 2 hour lecture on the basics of photography by my mentor. Surprisingly it appeared on his blog.

Cannon 10D-50mm
ISO 800
Aperture 2.o
Light Exposure-0
Colour Temp-4000k

Random things

Greetings from Mars.

Cheesy fries.

Jonathan Safran Foer.

Parenetioal retreats.

Brazilian cigars.

Chanel Coco Madamoiselle.

Utter ramblings.

Kites smites.

Lolling heads.

Utilitarianism.

---------------------

Single sized.

Senseless thoughts.

Love lots. xoxo

local bloggers, their blogs, their superficiality, their intellect

Inspired by a post from Cedric Chin


Some people wonder why I do not write more intellectual posts rather than entries that are simply meaningless, pointless, personal and other times stupid. Quoting from a meaningful post from this place, it says

Andrew Ho is perhaps the greatest single example of this. He caters for Malaysian readers who don't want to think. I love his posts, I really do. I read them frequently.But...

You know this thing about intellectualism, it's Socrates and not Brad Pitt. Now that's a little intellectual phrase you have to grasp. I am not stupid, and I certainly have ideas and comments about the happenings in the society, and oh how I should write with depth and substances about them.


But it is no secret, that the only reason people visit my blog is because of my looks. But it is no secret that not every person is intellectual. As a matter of fact most people aren't. Most Malaysian aren't. Statistic shows that you piglets read only 2 1/2 pages of book each year. With that kind of performance, what exactly are our expectations? You want them to read things that require them to engage their brains and think sensibly? You might as well kill them. They would prefer you kill them.



Most people don't give two hoot of what you think, what you say and the ideas you generate from your retarded mind. In addition, MOST people are not even able to generate intellectual blog postings. Xiaxue does not even has a degree and Kenny Sia is 'when routine isn't exactly normal'. Do we seriously expect them to talk about substantial topics like the democratization of media or why anal sex is prohibited in Malaysia? Ya, tell me why can't I have sex before 21.



'Intellect' is a beautiful gift that can't be learnt, it is bestowed from heaven above. 10 people can read Socrates, but probably 2 would love to read more. And only 1 can produce his own. But when Brad Pitt flashes his nipples, 3000 women get saved.


Superficiality is so much nearer to the human nature, it's like when you're horny and the two books you really have to choose from to read is No.1 Teenage Porn, and no.2 Spm History. Picking the first option is definitely sinful, but picking no.2 is impossible.


Our Malaysian culture and our brought up are built upon American Pie Media (stupid ones that teaches us fornication is good, big breast is good, big penis is also good, being cool is to be a pretty face and sleep with as many girls you can, write all their names down and count them before you go to bed, it just make you feel like Lion King, by all means, this things aren't mind building), special rights some of us don't have, why do we have to study so hard, why is their a moral subject at the first place, why do we have to study 10 subjects in high school and why is that the local blog with the most readers is Kennysia.


If you ever want your children to grow up an intellect, the first movie you have to show them is a documentary explaining why Hitler hate Jews. We, Malaysians, everyone, our brought up plays great role in shaping our society. If you feed them with other things THROUGHOUT THE YEARS, you'll have a whole generation of bloggers that goes like:


The fucking cibai ah pek cut my queue, you think you are ah pek then you can cut my queue, if you are younger I would have spit on your cibai bin.


Intellectualism anyone?

Malaysian Blogs: (Where) Got Nice To Read

Blogs. The democratization of media. The mouthpiece of many. The bane of our authoritarian government.

If you're a typical Malaysian blog reader you'd have stopped after the above statement and permanently marked this blog off as 'serious stuff lah, no nice to read'. I'm sitting over at the Swinburne computer lab writing this post (sorry for the lack of images, I'll go home and add later on) and a guy in front of me just finished reading through Kennysia, Xiaxue and Smashpop, in that order.

No Jeff Ooi.

No Huffington Post.

No O' Reilly.

No thinking blogs of any manner.

The guy is scrolling through Xiaxue again. I see a lot of rabbits. Why in the world would a discerning, intelligent college student scroll through pictures of rabbits?

There is this phenomenon in the Malaysian blogosphere. I call it the Got Nice To Read frame of mind. According to this theory, the most widely read blogs in the Malaysian blogosphere must have the following qualities:

1. Have lots of big pictures. Everywhere. In every post. With every line. Take Kenny Sia (disclosure: I'm an ardent fan of Kennysia, for reasons I can't yet fathom), for example. Picture after picture after picture ... of himself swimming, running, his iPod, his trip to Egypt. Little words.

2. Blogger behind blog must be a camwhore. This means lots of pictures of the said blogger. Showing off his/her new nose, his/her new BF/GF, his/her new haircut. Us Malaysians love peering into the nose hairs and body cavities of our internet idols.

3. Must Review Food/Toilet Bowls. Almost all successful Malaysian blogs have to have one or more posts about food. Chickenricenasilemakburgertimes. I contribute this to the fact that Malaysia is one country where fist fights can start over where to find the best Laksa. Toilet bowls? We Malaysians are discerning people, and we guard the thrones housing our butt cheeks very protectively.

4. Must write about superficial topics. You're not a Malaysian a-lister if you write about real, happening topics that affect everyone. You can write about how you won the recent Nasi Lemak eating competition, you can write about how much you've spent in Blook. But the instant you start subjective analysis about the democratization of media and the New Education Policy people start running away from you and your blog like you've contracted the plague.

5. Must write little. If writing about superficial topics isn't bad enough, most successful Malaysian bloggers write little. They post up hundreds of pictures, but their commentary on recent social issues are usually 1-5 liners. Why? I've no idea. Our eyes are not made for text. We have attention spans of a 3 year old. We are Malaysians.

Consumer consumption in Bolehland rocks. Big time.

Let me make this post clear: I'm not saying these blogs are lousy. I'm not saying Kenny Sia's and Xiaxue's and Smashpop's blogging styles are wrong, or can be improved upon. There is no such thing as a correct blogging style, just as there is no right way to write novels. All I'm saying is that I'm sick of it. Why can't we have good, topical bloggers writing about local issues that maintain a degree of integrity? Why aren't we reading more of these blogs?

Andrew Ho is perhaps the greatest single example of this. He caters for Malaysian readers who don't want to think. I love his posts, I really do. I read them frequently. But that's because he's a friend, and I read all my friends blogs.

When I give him a link to, say, Dooce (who was nominated for a writing award early this year), he rejects. He's started rejecting all the thinking blog links and industry news blogs I've been sending to him.

So far I've only found two Malaysian bloggers who write beautifully, with substance, and with depth (not politics, like Jeff, who is in a league of his own). One of them is a pleasant (and much needed) breath of fresh air: Zewt, who writes about social issues in a way that most of us Malaysians can understand. I like the way he handles issues, starts discussions, and am very glad he did not go down the many photo little words path.

The other is Kamigoroshi, aka Edrei Zahari. He's now one of the leaders of the Personal community over at 9Rules, the blogging network that places quality above all other factors.

Some of the bloggers there are incredibly influential.

A lot of them command multinational audiences that make Xiaxue and Kenny Sia and Smashpop (and all the other blogs we read and many imitate), seem pathetic.

But we're not reading them.

We're not imitating them.

Why?

Bolehland prevails.

Top Gear Reviews The Perodua Kelisa

Wen Qi found my comment about Jeremy Clarkson intruiging, so I've decided to post it up here. Jeremy Clarkson is this host of a BBC show called Top Gear, and he usually goes about driving posh cars and breaking landspeed limits. Quite the lifestyle, I must add.

So what happens when he takes a break and reviews the Perodua Kelisa - a car quite out of his league? Let's just say the feelings are strong and the results are explosive (psst - he sends the car to hell). Watch below.



PS: The Wikipedia coverage about our parliament's reaction to his review can be found here.

Kermit Has An Itch

Cats Expo in Cat City

On Saturday, went out with a friend of mine around town, exploring some of the city’s tourist areas such as Main Bazaar, India Street, Waterfront, the old Courthouse. But more about that on my personal blog another time. Well, as we were walking along the Waterfront, we noticed that there was a crowd around the Square Tower, with white canopies set up. Later on we discovered that there was a Fish and Pets Expo on, the name doesn’t sound very catchy and the whole thing wasn’t much to see yet, but I still went to have a look out of curiousity.

Inside a huge, air-conditioned canopy was where the cats were housed in cages. Most of them looking listless as they lay in their cages as people poked, pet and prodded at them. And all the while they were people snapping away photos of them. Poor creatures.

I must confess, I’m not a cat lover at all. In fact, I used to have quite a phobia towards them during my childhood. Thankfully I didn’t find the whole thing frightening in any way, probably due to the subdued nature of most of the cats there. Although there was one big, fat black cat that kind of creeped me out with its stare.

There was even one cat that particularly made me laugh, it was pawing at its neighbour, trying to illicit some attention or perhaps get him to play. However, the neighbour did not even bat an eye and continued its afternoon siesta. Photo as shown below.

And here’s another cat that looks pretty menacing. I’d be pretty terrified if it were let free.

As I said, there really was a crowd at the place, Kuching people really don’t have much places to go I guess.

Well, the fish part of the expo wasn’t much to see at that time, perhaps they were not done setting up. We only saw tanks filled with miniscule fish. Look at the photo and you’ll know what I mean. The fish were tiny!

Anyway, further along the Waterfront, we spotted more cats. This time of a different variety…

Malayshire?

Something that I chanced upon while reading a magazine from UK. Hey, Malaysia is mentioned in a Tesco ad, in a way… Malay-shire, what a twist of words.

Mummies Do Exist In Malaysia

When Kenny Sia posted about him going to meet mummy few weeks back, he definitely forgot one thing.

What it is? Guess...

He meets The Rock acting for the next Mummies Return?


No!~

Kenny Sia encountered a walking Luxor which another one appears to grow at some 'strategic place'...

But he wouldn't have the chance to encounter this anyway...

Let's see...


He probably forgot to post that he encountered mummies queuing to withdraw money from ATM machines! -_-"

Perhaps, he had gone to far to meet his mummy. He can actually just pay RM199.99 Air Asia tickets to West Malaysia and another RM52.00 taxi to Sunway Pyramid to see those mummies. It's everywhere to be seen! We can see mummy in Malaysia too! Don't have to travel so far.

Voice Clips

I posted up a Windows Live Messenger Personal Message reading: You hit a UGSer, you hit me. And guess what Kenny said.


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UGS first unofficial podcast. Tools? Windows Live Messenger. Believe it.

Kuching Makan Places Episode 2: Frappe

Just want to introduce a place that I had drinks at after going to the PC fair last Friday. It’s called Frappe which is located at the Travillion, an area which all young and hip Kuchingnites should be familiar with. Anyway, the place is called Frappe after the name of the drink that it primarily serves, which are.. Frappes. A kind of ice blended concoction that is flavoured with different shots of flavourings and is almost like a milk shake. Gee, I’m not very good at explaining food and drinks.

Well, there are many kinds of Frappes there, Chocolate, Peach, Coffee, Strawberry, Vanilla, Caramel and a few more which I can’t quite remember. They are priced at RM7.50 each, no extra GST.

Apart from that, there are other common drinks and food ranges from snacks like wedges, fries and garlic bread to main courses like pasta and western food. All quite reasonably priced for such an eatery.

As usual, excuse the poor quality of photos since my Casio doesn’t perform so well at night. Although it does well in daylight, I think the answer to my problems would be getting two cameras, one for day, one for night. Haha.

Anyway, here’s a look at the interior deco first.

The place has subdued lighting and it decorated in a contemporary style, albeit with a slightly retro touch. This is the back of the shop.

The front of the shop has red cushioned chairs that look quite retro, but no one was sitting in them when we were there. Everybody seemed to prefer the “booth” seating, sitting on the cushioned bench along one side of the shop.

The counter and cake display area. There were only two kinds of cakes that time, Hazelnut Cheese Cake and American Chocolate Cake, priced at RM8.50 and RM6.50 respectively. Note the Chinese lanterns hung which adds an Oriental touch to the place. To the right of this area is where the drinks are prepared where bottles of flavoured syrup used to make the drinks are lined up which is quite a sight, very colourful. However, my camera failed to capture this clearly, so no photos of that available.

This is what my friend had, a Chocolate Frappe.

And I had a Caramel Frappe, it’s quite nice. But personally I don’t see what’s so special about it that warrants that price. There’s a glass of water in the background, which they serve to everybody regardless of what you order. They come in Ikea glasses, mine was from Russia, my friend got a glass from Turkey. Heh.

My sister had a Mango Freeze which is basically Mango flavoured fizzy drink topped with a scoop of Vanilla ice cream, surprisingly nice but rather sweet. This cost RM6.90.

There are also magazines that you can read while whiling away time there, and I think they have wifi. Board games are also available.

Overall, I think I would go to this place again if my purse is feeling a little heavy and I’ve got time to kill.

Kuching PC Fair April 2007

This weekend, I went to Kuching’s PC fair twice, yes twice. Thanks to my friend Heidi who drove us. The first time we went there on the first day of the fair, we managed to go one round around the place within 20 minutes, which included the time taken for another friend of mine to get a laptop hard disk 80GB housing which was RM16. That friend has been studying in Kuala Lumpur for two years already and when she came to our fair, she was like “Is this it?”. Comparatively speaking, the PC fair here is tiny since the one in KL encompasses several floors and the range available is a lot wider.

For some time now, friends have been bugging me to get a mic or headset, yea the BUGGERS have been bugging me to. Since lately they have taken a liking to having Skype conferences which involves me listening and TYPING, while the rest talk. Quite an inconvenience. So, there I was at the fair, searching for something within my budget that was good enough. I was in a blur, the crowded spaces with people squirming through, stalls hawking all sorts of goods, and numbers everywhere, an indication of the “low” prices and special offers. As can be expected, I walked out of the PC fair empty-handed. I hate this thing about myself and shopping, I never end up getting much even if I want to. Somehow my inborn trait of thriftyness is hard to overcome.

So, the day after, Saturday, my friends and I went off to Damai beach for the weekend, more about that in my personal blog later. On Sunday, we came back to Kuching and were off to the PC fair again. Supposedly, the goods are cheaper on the last day of the fair as they try to clear off the stock, thus explaining why we there for the second time.

This time, the place was really really packed, we walked around the place so many times trying to look for something worth buying, but moving about was difficult, to say the least. I think I accidentally “molested” people, and I was like trying to keep minimal physical contact with the people around. Yikes. And people traffic was slow slow slow.

Okay, back to the point, I was trying to look for a headset yet again. Earlier on had been given allowance yet still.. thriftyness took over again. I saw Logitech ones… too expensive, Phillips.. same, Creative... nope, some ocipala China made ones.. lousy, didn’t see any Sony ones. My friend quickly made two purchases: a TV tuner costing RM133 and a 250GB SATA HDD that cost RM380, which put on the pressure to find my thing quickly. In the end, settled for a Sonic Gear mic that costs RM13, originally RM18. I know! I’m such a cheapskate! I’m not proud of it… Ended up handing back the allowance money I had since I only got that. Somebody, teach me to be a spendthrift! Haha.

Well, that’s about it about the fair, basically a place for stock clearance and prices seemingly don’t vary much from normal price except for certain items. Conclusion, the next one I’m going to, I’ll make sure it’s the one at Kuala Lumpur. Yes! End of the year can go over as I would probably be studying in KL. Hope I overcome my thriftyness or I’ll end up walking the whole day and come out with next to nothing.

Blogging Ethics For All

Being a self declared proponent of the blogosphere (as well as a member of it for quite some time), I must admit that sometimes the childish antics of otherwise normal, mature individuals can be frustrating for all of us.

There has been a furore about the Kathy Sierra death threats over the past week or two, attracting even mainstream media coverage and plenty of commentary from blogging heavyweights.

On the other side of the web, Litlove has documented the recent spate of blogging (mis)conduct, providing links to Tim O'Reilly's call for a rewrite on blogging ethics.

The reason I'm writing this post is not to show how much I know about what's hot in the blogosphere right now (Arrington and the guys over at Technorati should know better), but I'd like to point all UGSers to a case of such misconduct closer to home: over at Gabrielle's blog.

anonymous: "And guess who is the best speaker? Me, me, me and me!" show off!!
anonymous: boo
gabby: ahemzz...its called self-amusement la hor, tats y its me me me n me.
anonymous: to your point of view, it might be just self amusement but to others, it will look like a show off act.
gabby: the purpose of a blog serves for d blogger to spew out his mind and other ppl's point view are inadmissable when blogging as a blog serves to preservea part of the blogger's life not ppl's point of views.
anonymous: well, this chatbox here serves a different purpose. it's here for me to state what i think about ur blog and it seems like you can't do anything about this can't you?
gabby: i never said it was wrong for u to voice ur pov. and in deed there is much tat i can do about it hwether it pleases u o not. refer to my post.

What worries me is this reply of his:

anonymous: well, this chatbox here serves a different purpose. it's here for me to state what i think about ur blog and it seems like you can't do anything about this can't you?

Why is this wrong?

To treat a person's personal blog as a shouting space of your own is rude, certainly. As is commenting or ranting about the person whom the blog is about. But the anonymous commentor's point of view is not only harmful to the Gabby - he threatens the mood and the tone of the blog.

If everyone out there acted like this the blogosphere would be a cacophony of disagreements and childish spats. An opinion I agree with on this issue:

It’s disappointing when healthy discussion turns agressive and nasty. It just seems so unnecessary and unproductive. I usually try to avoid blogs where the discussion is on that level.

From Litlove's comments.

Think of a personal blog as kind of open house, a place where the usual rules of polite behavior are maintained. Readers are like visitors to the party, and the Blogger will try his/her best to make sure things are entertaining and interesting and pleasant. He/She maintains full right to kick rude visitors out of the house, as he/she is responsible for what is being said under his/her roof.

Personally I don't worry too much about nasty comments in my blog - if they are not the least constructive, I ignore them. If they do assault other readers then, and only then, will I take action.

What can we do?

Go to Gabrielle's blog. Show her your support. And make sure you're ready when something like this happens over at yours. UGSers will support other UGSers.

We are, after all, a family.

Badminton

Badminton, the fastest racket sport in the world. My favourite sport and currently, one of the uprising sports that has become rather popular.

What do you know about badminton? Here's a few off the top of my head.

• China's Men Doubles pairing Fu Hai Feng and Cai Yun hold the record for fastest smash.
• It requires the use of a racket.
• Badminton shoes are expensive =(
• There are purple grips, purple strings, purple rackets but so far, I haven't found any purple badminton shoes.
• Our country's number one singles used to be number on in the world. When Lin Dan was feeling generous
• We have the most dynamic doubles pair currently. Koo Kien Keat and Tan Boon Heon. (KKBH/ KKK+TBH) They rock at smashing.
  
• KKBH's best formation is with KKK in front and TBH at the back.
• Badminton lingo is very easy to pick up.
• It's incredibly difficult to photograph badminton players in action.
• China players all have FedEx on them. (I wonder if they ever get FedUp)
• A lot of top players from Europe are Chinese. Pi Hong Yan for instance. and Xu Huai Wen.
• Good badminton players have VERY knobbly knees.
• S-serve or Sidek serve was banned. It was invented by the Sidek brothers and was totally nonreturnable that it was banned. How cool is that?!
  
• I will never stop if I don't stop now.

We've had a successful UGS badminton gathering in the past. Obviously that points out a few things.

Badminton can be played by ANYBODY. It doesn't matter if you're pro at it or a complete novice. As long as you hold the racket by the right end, have semi-efficient hand-eye coordination, You can play badminton! Thus, it's enjoyable and everybody can come together and play badminton.

Badminton is a SOCIABLE game. You CAN talk and play at the same time. Trust me. You can =D

Badminton is a HUMOUROUS game. More than a dozen times, you can find yourself hitting towards the shuttle as hard as you can only to miss it altogether. It's frustrating for the player. But incredibly funny for everybody else.

The Badminton court is multi purpose. You can take group photo's there. You can make phone calls. (Stupid point, disregard it). You can play other games such as Taboo.

Badminton always leaves you Aching wanting for more.

I was here. Obsessed over Loving badminton.

Kuching Makan Places Episode 1: Bla bla bla

Last Sunday, it was one of my friend’s birthday so we went over to Bla bla bla for drinks. It was my first time there and after hearing all the raves and reading bloggers’ reviews about it, my expectations of the place were quite high. Sadly, my camera failed me in the dimly lit surroundings, I apologise for the following photos posted in this post which due to my stubborness of not wanting to use much flash, turned out this way.

This is the only photo that is really clear since it’s taken previously in bright daylight when I was in the car passing by the place.

The interior deco of the place is quite unique in Kuching, with a courtyard in the middle of the shop with water features, plantings and stepping blocks placed so you can cross the courtyard over the water feature. The kitchen is situated in the middle part of the shop, which leaves the back free for seating which is quite private, and totally not noticeable from the main road. In fact, it’s so quiet and dim, you could doze off there. Heh. We went on a Sunday night, so the place was quite empty.

The menu has a variety of drinks, from ice-blended drinks, imported bottled drinks, flavoured teas, coffee, to liquor mixes. I didn’t really take notice of the food available since I was only there for drinks, oh well. But I noticed the cake selection near the entrance as we were walking in, there are the usual cheese cakes, yoghurt cheese cakes, chocolate cakes, some vanilla pudding thing and some other cakes that I didn’t really take notice of, I was too eager to just get inside then.

Okay, time for some photos…

The main source of lighting at the seating area at the back, the rest of the area is lit by candlelight. Notice the ceiling is covered with natural material, adds a local touch.

The tables on one side are for couple seating whereas the other side has larger tables and a cushioned bench lined up against the length of the wall.

A closer look at one of the marble-topped table lit by candlelight. I forgot how to toggle the ISO and everything to get a better photo, have much to learn.

My drink, vanilla shake, topped with a scoop of vanilla ice-cream. Now, if only they had this in other flavours as well. Cost RM6.50, not inclusive of 5% GST, the ice-blended drinks were all around that price.

The blueberry cheese cake, which tasted rather gelatinous and not that cheesy but was good anyway. I didn’t know the price was RM9 till the bill came later. Gasp. The 5 of us who went shared this though.

Later when we were walking back to the car, passed by another eatery, The Junk. The place seems to have limited seating till some tables have to be placed outside. And I noticed that the tables used outside are none other than the old-school kind of wooden tables commonly found in primary schools here. Gee… Imagine going for a date sitting at tables like these feeling like kids, eating dishes priced at hotel price. Somehow doesn’t seem to go together. Perhaps those seatings outside are for the smokers going for drinks. Hmm..

300

I loved the movie - it was gory and the testosterone was practically bleeding off the screen (along with the 8 packs on 300 men, meaning - as a friend of mine put it: 2400 packs). But I found this video of the 'heavily edited PG version' - with all the gory bits cut out and replaced with cutesy pop culture references.

Really, these people have nothing better to do.